the role of the caretaker.

the question of the role of the caretaker in a relationship has been a theme this entire semester. notice that i say the caretaker, not a caretaker, because i don't know if two caretakers can be happy together.

i don't know if the caretaker is equivalent to the giver and the other to the taker. i don't think so. because the 'taker' is giving the 'giver' something they need: to be needed.

i was speaking with a maternal figure the other day, and she mentioned that. it really stuck with me. the need to be needed. the caretaker needs to be needed. in the end, who is the needy one? the one who needs to do nice things or  the one who needs nice things done for them.

and i'm not solely about romantic relationships. i'm talking about all relationships. i try to do good things for my bffs, especially when i don't have a bf sucking up my lovely ideas like a vacuum. i always keep them on my mind... and then they build me up to be some excellent person, but i really just need to do these things for them to feel valued. how's that for raw?

that's another thing this maternal figure is good at: being real with herself. calling herself on her own bullshit. i hope someday i know myself well enough to do that. i hope i'm strong enough too.

so, the taker is taking care of the caretaker because they are giving them what they need. wrap your head around that one.

now, here's the question. who were YOU thinking about? who did you associate as the caretaker and the taker? and if one of them was you... were you being real with yourself?

under lock and key.

Who would have thought a Geoscience class could be insightful? Not me.

The course, known colloquially as 'Rocks Class,' is rather boring. The professor is a total nerd for the Earth, which I dig... (so punny)... but it's one of those libré classes, that enhance our education to make us good citizens of the world. I get it. We can't have all techné classes; this would leave us one-dimensional... and graduating from a Liberal Arts school must have the stamp of 'you-know-a-lot-of-random-shit' attached.

I wish there was a 'design-your-own-course' option, so I could peace out of 'Rocks' and head over to 'Developing your Blog Writing Style' or 'Photography' or 'Yoga'. But I suppose this is the point; the liberal requirements take us out of what we like, forcing us to commit to learn about another area that we would not typically pick. On the flip side, none of the options I request have anything to do with music, so I would believe them to be valid.

In order to suffer through this class, I am attempting to use my higher levels of thinking (dare I say 'Evaluation' of Bloom's Taxonomy **insert Dr. Mrs.**) to make connections that may actually be useful.

But the issue is that I can't remember any of the connections... but they were there yesterday.

the romantics.

This blog has been a long time coming... and when I say a long time, I don't know if you understand the time frame we're talking about here.

It started out a few years ago during a late night attempt to discover the 'zest' of life. Or, more specifically, the others who seek out this 'zest.' But zest, this word generally associated with citrus, doesn't even begin to explain my frantic inquisition.

Spice. Reverie. Energy. Ecstasy. Flavor. Bliss. Passion.

Where are the people willing to die of excitement? Where are the people who have eye-twinkling moments from sweet simplicity? Where are the people who find beauty in the hot mess of life?

This way of thinking is almost a curse. Because I have found no one.

...until a few nights ago... when i found the romantics

Sure, this only-earned-14%-acclaim-on-Rotten-Tomatoes, book-turned-movie is not the best independent film out there. The characterization, the plot, the cinematography, the acting, etc. were not stellar. At the start, I thought, "This movie is kind of boring."

But the life philosophy held by the characters is beautiful. They get it. They feel with every fiber of their being. You know, that feeling when you feel so much you might just explode.
Of course you don't.

“We are so blind to all of the tiny beautiful things, no I am talking about the tiny beautiful things that make life worth living. We share a goal. To inspire and to be inspired. That my friends is imperative and without that, without that we got nothing.” -Tom

So, can you keep up? Can you live for inspiration? I don't know if you can. I don't know if you can handle these outrageous emotions. They are perpetually on the rocks, which is the fantastic part. 

This is the stem from which this blog has grown. This is my life. 

one-hundred percent romantic.