Saturday, December 17, 2011

the role of the caretaker.

the question of the role of the caretaker in a relationship has been a theme this entire semester. notice that i say the caretaker, not a caretaker, because i don't know if two caretakers can be happy together.

i don't know if the caretaker is equivalent to the giver and the other to the taker. i don't think so. because the 'taker' is giving the 'giver' something they need: to be needed.

i was speaking with a maternal figure the other day, and she mentioned that. it really stuck with me. the need to be needed. the caretaker needs to be needed. in the end, who is the needy one? the one who needs to do nice things or  the one who needs nice things done for them.

and i'm not solely about romantic relationships. i'm talking about all relationships. i try to do good things for my bffs, especially when i don't have a bf sucking up my lovely ideas like a vacuum. i always keep them on my mind... and then they build me up to be some excellent person, but i really just need to do these things for them to feel valued. how's that for raw?

that's another thing this maternal figure is good at: being real with herself. calling herself on her own bullshit. i hope someday i know myself well enough to do that. i hope i'm strong enough too.

so, the taker is taking care of the caretaker because they are giving them what they need. wrap your head around that one.

now, here's the question. who were YOU thinking about? who did you associate as the caretaker and the taker? and if one of them was you... were you being real with yourself?

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